Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm really busy with my period
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