I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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