did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Someone came in the potted fern
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
