therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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