I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
