Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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