This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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