I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
