It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize