remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
