Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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