We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
