its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
