Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize