If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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