Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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