my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize