at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
