Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
too bad you live with your parents still
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
