My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize