and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
