i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
