Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
