Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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