Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
