She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
