just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
