Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
