i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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