Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
