1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
