But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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