Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize