I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize