ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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