remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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