First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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