Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
