Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
