I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
