I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
