My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
