I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize