I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
