if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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