I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
