If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize