Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
