Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
