Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
