Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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