So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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