he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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