how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize