You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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