I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize