i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
