Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
