bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
