So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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