capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
