I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
