I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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