Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
